I saw a woman standing on the roof of a two story building. She seemed trepidatious, sad and angry, all things you should never be when you’re on the edge of a roof. I had no idea why she was on the roof but since I’ve been on the edge of a roof before, I thought that my story could help her make a better decision NOT to jump.2013-07-25 11.07.19

You see, one day I jumped off the two story roof. I was full of apprehension, sadness and fiercely terrified of being on the edge of the roof but I was told there was no other way. I had to jump or be pushed off the edge with no one to save me. I begged and pleaded with my ‘pushers’ but to no avail….I was going over whether I liked it or not. And I did NOT like it.

So I went to the roof of the two story building and noticed that no one was there but me. However there were lots of people walking around doing their daily tasks and errands without noticing me at all. I found it so deeply sad that no cared if I jumped.

I looked down and thought, “It’s only two stories, surely I can survive the fall!” But every time I got to the very edge, I nearly panicked. I looked to my left and to my right and saw no one that could help me. I suppose my ‘pusher’ was right, this was not my decision to make…I had to jump.

2013-05-01 11.56.53Feeling no way out and no one to help me, I jumped. I didn’t run and leap – I stood on the edge, closed my eyes, and simply stepped off. I mean, why should I run and jump as if this is what I wanted  to do? I never wanted this, but none the less, I had to or I would be pushed.

Falling two stories broke several bones, made MANY bruises and I went in and out of consciousness for a while. My pushers told me to get over it because many women jump off two story buildings and live. And that is true, most live but LIVE to regret jumping. The fall hurt even though bones heal and bruises are not as noticeable. It seems like I limped forever but finally started walking upright again even though it took YEARS.

Did I live? Yes, I suppose I did…but for what? Many years I felt the pain of the brokenness I felt. I never really walked the same again. Every day I am reminded of the jump and all of the pain it gave me. sidewalk

But when I saw that woman on the edge of the roof of the two story building I saw myself, standing there all by myself and wondered if anyone told this woman that she didn’t have to jump. Why should she feel the same horrible pain that I had? I mean, wouldn’t my story help her to make a better decision? Would my pain that I still feel today keep other women from jumping? Because if it does, then my pain is worth it to save others from jumping.

With abortion, there is no one to catch you when you jump…the baby is dead, you are wounded and it takes a lifetime to stand again.

So, when I see you at the abortion facility and you see me and others begging you not to ‘jump’, it’s because we know exactly what’s going to happen to you the moment it’s over and for the rest of your life.

PLEASE DON’T JUMP. It’s not worth it.

3 thoughts on “SIDEWALK CHRONICLES: Please Don’t Jump! part 1

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